


Things Are Changing

by crystalphobic



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016), The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Jealousy, Minor Violence, major swears, the AU nobody knew they needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23261713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalphobic/pseuds/crystalphobic
Summary: Charlotte and Ted are working for Dirk Gently, holistic detective. Complications arise. There's jealousy, confessions and shenanigans.And let's not forget the chai ice tea.
Relationships: Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Running

**Author's Note:**

> why did i feel the need to make a dghda/tgwdlm crossover? because i could
> 
> basically this is a "all the hatchedfield kids are holistic and work with/around dirk and the gang" AU with a focus on Charlotte and Ted
> 
> enjoy!

Ted was running after Charlotte. Not in a metaphorical sense, not like he usually did.

No, he was physically running after her for once.

It came to no surprise that the chase didn’t last too long, what with Charlotte not being the running type- and with Ted having far longer legs. 

He hadn’t even broken a sweat when he spotted her rounding a corner.

The big trash container Charlotte was ‘hiding’ behind did a piss poor job of actually concealing her location. She’d probably gotten tired of running and opted to do the  _ other _ thing she was pretty bad at.

It was the universe’s fault of course; making her neither the running nor the hiding type. Naturally dispositioned to sheer openness. No hiding emotions, expressions, or the tip of her shoes in this case- which were peaking past the edge of the container.

  
  


He held up the illusion of not seeing her for a few seconds, slowing down his run as if he’d genuinely lost sight of her. She wouldn’t suspect a thing.

Ted walked past the container slowly, calculating his steps. If he’d done it right he would-

“Ow- Ted!”

Step on her foot. Totally by accident. Of course.

“Charlotte! You can’t just pop out of a trash can like that! Scared the shit outta me!”

“Well- how am I supposed to- I tried to- ugh! What do you want, Ted?”

  
  


She had quickly gotten up and stepped out from behind the container, lifting her foot to assess the damage. Nothing broken, surely, but due to the fact she was constantly wearing those flimsy low-heels it’d probably hurt and sting for a short while.

“What do  _ I _ want, Charlotte? What do  _ you _ want is the better question- I had a calm, adult disagreement with Todd and you  _ barge in _ -” 

Looking back, she didn’t barge in. She had opened the door slowly, asking in that quiet voice of hers if everything was alright; she’d heard some ruckus and just wanted to check if...and by then she had taken in the scene in front of her.

Ted and Todd on the floor, definitely looking worse for wear. Dirk holding on to the couch for balance after he’d presumably been kicked in the stomach- a genuine accident that Ted might actually apologize for when this had blown over. If it would blow over.

  
At the time of her arrival there was an instant, tangible shift of mood in the room.  
  


Ted, in the terminated motion of giving he man on the floor another right hook, had barely let the whisper of her name escape his lips before the door swung shut with a bang. He’d quickly untangled himself from Todd and did a swift exit stage left to run after her.

And here they were.

  
  


“You...you barge in and uh- you do  _ something _ to me that makes me stop giving that little pest his earned beating- and then run away! What’s that all about, huh?”  
  


“Ted, sweetheart...you’re making no sense.”  
  


“My point is: it wasn’t that serious of a fight- barely a scuffle. YOu didn’t have to get involved.”  
  


“Ted, your nose is  _ bleeding _ .”  
  


“See! If it had been  _ serious _ there would have been knives involved, or guns! And then I’d be bleeding a hell of a lot more. You know what they say; always take a gun to a knifefight in case you’re about to lose.”

While he was rambling he wiped some of the blood from his face using his sleeve.   
Wow. 

There was more blood than he'd thought- a lot more. Todd hadn’t broken his nose, as far as Ted could tell, but this would be a bitch to clean up later.

  
  


“ _ Theodore _ . What is going  _ on _ with you? I thought- I thought things were going well. The job, the office, Dirk and Todd...Why are you doing this?”

‘This’ referring to what she probably perceived as self-sabotage. 

Sure, it would seem like that from her perspective. 

Though he really hadn’t started the fight out of some pathetic attempt at making his life worse; the more accurate reason was...jealousy.   
But it’s not like he’d own up to that anytime soon.

“Well, Charlotte, maybe things  _ aren’t _ going so well for me as they are for you. Ever thought about that?”

This made her take a step back. Not the  _ desired _ effect, but the expected one. As long as she didn’t start running again it would be fine though.

“I...haven’t, actually, thought about that. I’m sorry.”

“See! You’ve been all absorbed in this little fantasy friendship you’ve got going on with our  _ boss _ out of all people. You shouldn’t even ask yourself ‘How could I not have seen this coming?’ You  _ couldn’t _ have seen this coming. Because you’ve barely been talking to me- do you even  _ know me _ anymore?”

He was overstepping boundaries. 

Not ones they had set and  _ talked _ about, but ones he knew, deep down, he shouldn’t be crossing.  
  


Her eyes said it all, as per usual. They spoke of pain, distress, and strangely...rejection. 

Ted knew exactly what rejection looked like. Countless times he’d seen glints of it in the eyes of guys and girls who asked him out in the bars, the cafés and coffee shops he frequented. He turned them down and then he’d see that look in their eyes.

He didn’t know why it was flashing in Charlotte’s eyes right now, though, and it made his heart cramp in a painful way.

  
  


“But...Ted, I- I  _ want _ to talk to you. I care about you. Don’t you know that I care about what happens to you?”  
  


The cramp stopped. Instead the sensation that came rushing over Ted was more alike to what he felt when Todd was punching his stomach in earnest just minutes ago.

His throat closed up for a second and he stammered indignantly.

“You  _ care _ , huh?” 

A gulp and a breath later he still couldn’t bring himself to look Charlotte in the eyes, but he croaked out some words. 

“When did you start caring, then? Just now? Because I haven’t seen any of that care since you started dancing through the meadows with fucking Dirk Gently-  _ Holistic Detective _ .”

He spat out the title in a mocking tone. Dirk was supposed to be his friend, too. But he couldn’t bring himself to act friendly right now.

“I am  _ not _ dancing- if you’re implying what I think you’re implying you’re shockingly wrong, Ted! On so many levels-” She hadn’t stepped away any further, seemingly having chosen fight over flight this time. 

Her arms were crossed over her chest, chin raised up to where she hoped to meet his eyes. 

“What’s even gotten into you? All you did these past few weeks was sit in your little cubicle,  _ sulking _ ! The most interaction I saw from you was your occasionally letting Todd into that personal-space-bubble to sulk  _ with you _ .

And then I come into the office on a day like any other and you two are just beating each other up? Guess I did miss more than I thought.”

“Yes, Charlotte, you miss a lot of things. Good on you for finally noticing.”  
  


“What’s that supposed to mean, Ted?”  
  


“Oh, I don’t know. Could be the fact that you’re oblivious to anything that isn’t your happy little fantasy of all of us living and working together on these cases. You live in a fucking bubble and you don’t even-”

“Don’t even  _ what _ ?”

Her arms had uncrossed and she was now stabbing a finger at Ted’s chest. He probably deserved it.

“Do you think that I don’t know about you glaring daggers at me from across the room almost 24/7? Do you think I don’t hear you loudly announce your distate for detective work every time we get a case? 

It’s obvious, Ted, you’re not happy with this situation anymore, I understand that, but I didn’t think it was because you dislike working with  _ me _ that much.”

  
  


“That’s not the reason.” Ted bit his lip, dragging a hand over his face in exasperation. Should have kept his mouth shut.  
  


“Then just  _ what _ is it Ted? I’m holistic, not a mind reader. Tell me now, just make it quick. I’m sure it’s something I don’t want to hear, but it has to be done.”

  
  


He scoffed. What she was asking him to tell her sure was something she wouldn’t want to hear. Not from him. Not ever.

But she was right.

It had to be done. Had to be said.

“I love you, Charlotte.”


	2. Her Favorite

Charlotte, even though she was very fond of walking, really wasn’t good at running. 

Running implied the  _ need _ to move fast, whereas walking was a nice pastime to get one’s daily excercise in and see something new about town. Chitchat with random people. Maybe pet some dogs. There were endless possibilities when she was just walking.

It wasn’t even an issue of physical unfitness- she’d have you know she was in very good conditio. Charlotte just felt like she had enough of being  _ on the run  _ for most of her life. Now, after having settled into a tolerable routine of strangeness with the detective business it wasn’t necessary nor required.

Policemen do the running, detectives do the sleuthing. Right?

  
  


That was her belief until about 5:30 in the afternoon on that one peculiar day.

The morning had started out normal enough; she’d gotten to used to that energy of low-spirit permanently radiating from Ted’s corner of the office for the past week. 

Charlotte, as usual, went right to doing her job; scrolling through local newspapers in search of something that might need help of the holistic kind until one of her colleagues expressed a desire for some coffee.

  
  


Then she’d get up, go to the little shop the next block over, and buy everyone’s drinks. By now she’d gotten their orders so many times the cute little barista would see her enter and already have the order ready by the time it was actually Charlotte’s turn in line. 

Black coffee for Todd and Farah, but with tons of sugar each. A tall iced latte for Dirk, lots of whipped cream, with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Regular coffee with milk and a teaspoon of sugar for herself.

And, of course, Ted’s chai iced tea.

  
  


At first she insisted she could make something as simple as that in the office.

Ted refused.

She tried to get him a bottled, brand version of the drink, but seeing his face when drinking it was enough to make her realise that  _ this ain’t it, chief. _

From then on she’d dutifully bring the expensive venti cup of tea along, for him. Just for him.

She was quite sure that if he asked, she’d go twice- no, three times, every day, to get his tea.

Because it was his favorite, and he was her favorite.

Simple as that.

  
  


So all in all, today didn’t feel all that different from any other day. She’d gone and gotten everyone’s coffee and promptly excused herself from the office to take her daily walk.

The inner city was bustling as always, so she took the tram heading for the more relaxed shopping district. It had parks next to it, lots of open spaces, and after some days experimenting she found the one bench where the most dog owners passed by. Her own little corner of heaven.

  
  


Being here made Charlotte feel quite at ease, especially with the white noise of the park all around. It let her block out everything else and just focus on the thoughts in her head. Which were, as usual as of late, occupied by a certain sleazeball.

Ted used to join her on her walks. She thought about that fact frequently.

  
  


_ ‘Report said it might rain today, and you didn’t take an umbrella. I don’t want you slipping and falling over into a pile of papers all wet- could ruin a week’s worth of work.’  _

He’d come waltzing right after her down the flight of stairs leading outside, complaining about her forgetfulness. Once out and about he’d walk just behind her, just out of sight.

They’d grab something to eat at a nondescript restaurant. Sitting way too close but just apart, elbow to elbow, knee to knee, missing only one inch between them.

If it did end up raining Ted would hold the umbrella just so that Charlotte remained dry from head to toe the entire way back to the office. At the cost of his shoulder getting a little wet.

And Charlotte knew that.

  
  


It was hardly unnoticeable, just like the fact that he’d say it might rain even on days when she’d physically heard the weatherman proclaiming blue skies all around. Eventually she even stopped to think about bringing an umbrella on any given day, knowing for certain Ted would come along.

She noticed it all, but decided against mentioning it.

When had he stopped coming along, even on rainy days?

  
  


Thoughts in her head were all of a sudden too loud and her surroundings too quiet. Before she knew it, Charlotte had gotten up from her bench to get back to the office. The tram was noisy enough to block out thoughts instead of encouraging them, and she was grateful for it.

  
  


What she needed now was to get back to her boys. Yes,  _ boys _ , because she felt quite attached to all of them- even though Farah was not a boy... but she was engaged in protecting Lydia at the moment, so she wouldn’t be there right now anyway. Semantics.

  
  


Things on the bottom floor seemed normal enough. The printer was making some noise. Had Farah come back to the office without her noticing? Oh dear, if that was the case she’d have to go and get more coffee.

When Charlotte opened the door, however, she found Farah was still gone, the lights were off, and nobody was using the printer.

But then...if it wasn’t the printer,  _ what _ was making that horrible noise? They didn’t have a printer on the top floor, and yet the further up the stairs she went the clearer the sound became.

  
  


The door to the top office creaked open and Charlotte was met with a picture out of her actual nightmares.

Dirk was bent over the couch, heaving as if he’d been punched, Todd let out a groan on the floor, with at least two buttons of his shirts ripped off as if he’d been picked up by the collar and thrown down- and maybe worst of all, Ted, knees on either side of Todd’s torso, his face bruised already, looking right at her in the doorway.

  
As her mama used to say: ‘ _ Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charlotte is the softest soul on this planet and i daily thank dead-god for her existence


	3. In Theory

There exists a theory that a person’s favorite thing to hear is the sound of their own name.  
  


When confronting regular people with this theory in an experiment, most would find it proven correct. Contradicting experiences may occur if a person has been alienated at any point during their life. A ‘flinching’ or feeling of surprise is found often in prisoners or other victims of depersonalization in reaction to their name being spoken.  
  


When confronting  _ Ted _ with this theory he’d call bullshit very quickly, because his favorite thing to hear is not his name, but Charlotte’s.

It rolls like honey off his tongue in moments of happiness, grates out of his throat like battery acid when angry.

He can’t  _ stand _ saying her name when he’s angry.

It felt wrong to hear her name coming from the wrong person, with the wrong intonation, the wrong attitude.

On the other hand, the only celebrity articles he ever paid attention to in the newspaper were of people named Charlotte. If there was a character named Charlotte in a show he liked it better.

The duality of man.

  
  


Even though Ted was more or less aware of this, he still hadn’t found a way to stop himself from letting her control his life to such an extent. 

His brain was just that much of a bastard.

_ Charlotte here, Charlotte there, oh Charlotte would like this, I wish Charlotte was here _ . Day in day out. It exhausted him.

Why couldn’t he just fess up and  _ own up _ to his feelings? He was a grown man now. With a mind to reason and a heart to love. All for her. Only for her.

It was far too late for reason, though, as the hot green strands of jealousy had taken root in his head.

Todd was just a catalyst for the inevitable.

Why’d the asshole have to go and make another crack at his inability to talk to her like a normal person. Why  _ couldn’t he _ just talk to Charlotte, who might as well be the one and only thing he’s ever loved?

Fuck the chai ice tea from  _ Beanie’s _ . He’d never drink the stuff again and burn the shop itself to the ground if she told him to.

If he had it his way Ted would let Charlotte make him whatever kind of beverage she saw fit for the time and season and he’d tell her he loved it. But not as much as he loved her.

  
  


At least he’d crossed that bit of the fantasy off the bucket list. He’d told her he loved her. In a gloriously dramatic fashion.

He was sure he’d never said her name the way he just did. It was entirely unlike a confident  _ ‘Hey Charlotte, can you get me that folder, please-and-thankyou?’ _ or even an annoyed  _ ‘Well I don’t know Charlotte!’. _

It wasn’t like the gasps of her name in the shower or in the solitude of his apartment that he made sure she’d never ever hear.

It wasn’t even one of those few times when their lives were actually in danger and he yelled out for her with pure fear in his voice.

This was new and different and he hated it.

The scene of his confession was less than ideal of course. Professing his undying love and affection behind a courtyard dumpster may be a good analogy for his life as a whole, but he couldn’t be bothered to feel bad about that right now.

“Ted...you  _ what _ ?”

Was it too late to backpedal? According to his mouth, always quicker than his mind, It Was Absolutely Too Late.  
  


“I love you. I  _ have _ loved you. For an  _ embarrassing _ amount of time.”

A short silence followed, in which Ted kept his eyes trained so firmly on the ground he noticed that there were a total of four dandelions growing through the concrete by their feet. It was a sunny day out, but he suspected the rushes of heat he felt going from his spine up to his head weren’t the sun’s doing. Charlotte was crying.  
  


Wait, what?

  
  


“Ted, you  _ bastard _ .”

He definitely deserved that. And the attempted slap he caught with his hand.

“Don’t lie about things like this. Just tell me why you and Todd were fighting. We’ll go find another job, and…”

Ted wasn’t looking at her face, he barely got past her ankle length skirt if he was honest, so he couldn’t judge her expressions. She sounded so disappointed. He had to do something.

He had a hard time deciding whether to let her hand go or not, but the decision was taken from him by Charlotte herself, twisting her wrist away. The shove she gave him was as weak as her voice, but as all tension had left Ted’s body he still stumbled backwards.

“I don’t wanna get another job.”  _ Because I love working with you and never want to stop. _

“I was fighting with Todd because he was making fun about me not- not talking to you. It blew my lid off.”  _ Because I hate that he can read me so well. _

“I was angry at him for trying to fuck with me like that, and at Dirk for spending so much time with only you- hah! I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know why we were fighting.”  _ Because Todd loves him and he’s too busy with you to notice and that pisses me off. _

Things were starting to make sense to Ted, but he was afraid he’d lost Charlotte at some point.

“Are you saying you were  _ jealous _ ?”

“On behalf of Todd...and myself. You don’t know how shitty it is to sit around with a mirror image of yourself trying to decipher why you’re both unhappy in love.”

He cleared his throat, seeing as his voice had turned into quite the rasp from rambling.

“Especially with the uh- the object right in front of you. You know?”

“No! I don’t know! Ted,  _ what _ are you talking about?”

“I’m an idiot, Charlotte, that’s what I’m talking about!”

“Well I knew that already, but why- why’d you have to go ahead and be an idiot right now!”

“What do you mean ‘ _ right now’ _ ? This is a permanent state, baby!”

  
  


She wiped her face with the sleeve of her ridiculous, adorable cat sweater and sniffled audibly.

“I  _ mean, _ why would you tell me you l- you’re  _ in love _ with me?”  
  


“You asked for the reason why I was behaving all shitty- and hold the phone there, sweetheart, are you implying that me telling you that I love you makes me an  _ idiot? _ ”  
  


“No!”  
  


“Then what, Charlotte?!”

  
“Ted, I love you too, but this is a really bad time to be yelling about these things because Todd and Dirk are standing in that window _ over there _ !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch me use a McElroy goof as a chapter starter and weep


	4. And They Change For The Better

To understand oneself is to understand the people one keeps close.  
  


Strong empathy for other people’s problems can lead to a lack of acknowledging one’s own issues.

These are not contradicting or mutually exclusive statements- Ted knew both to be true. Sadly, Ted was also a Grade A Idiot.

  
  
  


He kept what was bothering him neatly bottled up in favor of teasing Todd, whom he now realised was in the exact same situation as him. 

In retrospect, he should have just helped Todd get with Dirk a little sooner. All this could have been avoided.  
  


He’d still be living in a world where he didn’t get kicked in the head by his friend, who was, mind you, a solid foot shorter than him. But he’d also be living in a world where Charlotte didn’t mention in passing that she loved him too.

The law of equal exchange, he supposed.

  
  


None of that mattered now, though, as his dream girl was currently rushing past him to get back to the front of the office.

“Hey! Where are you going?”  
  


“Checking on the boys.”

“Check-  _ checking on the boys? _ ” He stammered and immediately felt even more stupid than before. Too many things were swirling in his head to fully grasp even one. “But Todd was fine!”

“How would you know? You’re not a doctor!”

They had reached the stairs now, retracing the path of blood droplets Ted had left in his reckless pursuit of her.

“So we’re just gonna go in there and act like nothing happened? We should talk this  _ through _ , Charlotte.”

“When did you turn into an old wise man? I just want to see if they’re  _ both _ fine. We can go home after that!”

Throwing up his hands in exasperation, Ted let her silently lead the rest of the way.

He wasn’t entirely too keen on the confrontation with his colleagues. The window they’d been standing in was wide open, and the second floor was well in hearing range of the courtyard below. They knew things now.

Nobody knows things about Ted and lives- with Charlotte being the exception.

Deeply sunken into his flurry of thoughts he almost didn’t register that Charlotte had opened the door to the office. But he definitely registered her gasp, and yelp right after, as he walked right into her standing still in the doorway.

“Uh, hello? Why’d the Charlotte-train stop moving? What’s going on in there?”

Peaking over her head and following the direction she was looking in, he managed to catch the full picture inside the room. And what a picture it was. 

Dirk had Todd pressed up vertically against one of the space-dividing partitions- and they were without a doubt making out. 

_ Nice. _

Charlotte swung the door close before turning around and leaning against it- cheeks taking on a beet-like color.

“Looks like  _ they _ resolved whatever issues they were having. Who would’ve thought it’d be that easy.”

“Jesus, Ted! Could you just show a smidgen more decency?”

“Sorry, we’re all out of that.” Seizing the opportunity, Ted placed one hand on the doorframe next to Charlotte’s head and leaned in a little closer.

“So uh- wanna leave them to it? You said something about going home...My place or yours?”  
  


She wasn’t meeting his eyes, but that was alright. Her hesitation didn’t last long.  
  


“Yours.”

He did have the nicer living room. Probably because Charlotte spent more time there than in her own, and any place Charlotte was in was automatically nice.

  
  


A disturbingly silent car ride later, Ted was fiddling with his keys in front of the condo while Charlotte kept pretending that the plastic plants in the hallway were incredibly interesting to look at.

Inside, with their outermost layers peeled off and clumsily dropped over the coat hooks, Ted set about putting on some hot water for tea or coffee. He made it about three steps further into the apartment when he felt Charlotte’s hand on his arm, holding him back.

“...Yeah?”  
  


“Your hands and shirt are still bloody.”  
  


“Oh. Guess you’re right. I should put this in the washer. Put myself in the washer while I’m at it. I won’t take long, can you make something to drink? You know where everything is.”

Even though she lived a block away, had a perfectly functional kitchen and espresso machine, and never forgot to restock on beans and tea, Charlotte often came over in the morning to make breakfast hereinstead of at her own place.  
  


Before their little spat, that is.

  
  


“I’ll be back in five.”

He could have sworn he heard a polite ‘Take your time.’ before he disappeared behind the bathroom door.

The blood from his nose had gotten all over his tie and the front of his shirt. He could see as much even when looking in his shitty, decades old funhouse-bathroom mirror.

The shirt was probably a bust, seeing as he didn’t want to spend money on having it cleaned and he had 3 identical ones waiting to go, but he did like the tie. Perhaps it was salvageable.  
  


Either way, both items, along with his pants, socks and underwear, had to go. A shower was much needed and appreciated after a day like this. 

A quick rinse later Ted looked a lot less beat up and a lot more refreshed. The wonders a bit of running water holds.

He was reluctant to change back into the dirty shirt, so he left it lying on the bathroom floor for now. It was just a few steps across the hall to his bedroom, where his dresser was. He’d survive going bare chested for that short a time. Plus, it wasn’t like Charlotte had never seen him in other various states of undress.

This was fine.

His shirtlessness almost proved fatal right away, though, as he startled Charlotte walking past the bathroom, two cups in her hands. There was some splashing happening, but nothing spilled.

“Oh- sorry!” 

“No, no, it’s fine, didn’t get anything on me.”  
  


After examining her face Ted quickly deduced that it might not have been the opening of the door that scared her. After all, she was staring blatantly at his chest.  
  


“Go ahead. Livin’ room.”

The spooked woman blinked, nodded twice and went on her way; Ted soon following after, having put on a t-shirt from his wardrobe.

They got settled on the couch- most likely the best feature that came with the flat- and Ted picked up the cup that Charlotte hadn’t claimed.

It took him a few sips to realise what she’d made for him, even though the taste brought a smile to his face immediately.

“Chai ice tea?”  
  


“Yes. I brought the same brand of tea Beanie’s uses over one time. I wasn’t sure if you were using it, but seems like you didn’t even know...Sorry.”  
  


“No. It’s fine. You definitely make it better than I would.”  
  


“Emma  _ did _ share the recipe with me.”  
  


“She did? That non-singing, crabby little- Hm. Well, I suppose I should thank her. This is delicious.”

By the time he’d finished half the cup neither of them had said another word.

“Ted-”  


“Char- fuck. I’ll go first.”  
  


“...Alright.”

This was no time to be a coward. Ted had dug himself a fine little grave and by god, he will lie in it.

“Soooooo, good news first: since Todd has worked out his problems with Dirk I don’t have to project on him anymore. I just wanted him to be less of a bitch about his situation. You know. Be less like me. He’s got what he wanted now and I’m happy for the little motherfucker. And the taller motherfucker, as much as I hate to say it.”

“Does that mean while you had troubles with Dirk, Todd was having trouble with  _ me _ ? Dirk told me he was acting weird around the two of us, but...I didn’t quite make the connection.”

“No. Yes. Yes, I guess. You’re different from Farah in his eyes. She cares for Dirk, of course, but she’s, y’know. Not interested in him. At all. And Todd knows that about her, but he doesn’t know that about  _ you _ .”  
  


“And that’s how you felt about Dirk and me. You do know he’s, y’know-”  
  


“I know _ ,  _ Charlotte.”  
  


“But then, why-?”  
  


“I  _ don’t know _ , Charlotte. He’s charming. Quirky. Something different from the shit you’re used to.”

The hand on his knee was unanticipated and made him flinch a little.

“Are you saying that what I’m ‘used to’ is bad? Because I’d disagree.”

Oh right. She did say something about loving him. It simply hadn’t registered at all, not even now.

Ted pulled back his knee, you know, like a coward. Or a flustered teenager. Or both.

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better, y’know.”  
  


“I’d like to, though.”  
  


“ _ Charlotte.  _ You can’t be serious.”

An unbearable heat was rising to his head the more he tried to come to terms with what she was implying. Of course he wasn’t exactly hoping that she’d turn him down, but he hadn’t done  _ any _ mental preparations for the possibility that she might reciprocate either.

  
  


“Charlotte, you’re the one thing- the one relationship I never want to fuck up.”

“Well, you didn’t- screw things up. I’m still here. But you can’t expect that nothing will change after you...”

Charlotte trailed off. She was very distracted by Ted’s face at the moment. She’d been steadily inching closer, the space between them getting smaller and smaller, so she could see the conflicting emotions flashing across his features.

“After I? After I spilled out my bleeding heart in a shitty, shitty backyard and confessed to the perfect woman behind a dumpster? Yeah, things might change-”

He was shut up by the soft press of her lips on his. 

“Ted, I was thinking they might change for the _ better. _ ”

“Oh.”

Oh.

  
  


Any attempt at not acting like a desperate teenager was thereafter abandoned and thrown out the window.

Ted pulled Charlotte onto his lap, a stream of ‘I love you’s pouring from his mouth during the pauses between kisses when they both needed to breathe.

He had her pressed against his chest, her knees on either side of his thighs. Even if lightning, earthquakes or a meteor hit him now he was sure he’d die a happy man.

  
“ _ How the fuck _ did we not end up doing this sooner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you hear that, lord? i did it! now i can finally lay down and d i e


End file.
